If you think that a wedding photographer has a simple life, you are wrong. There is many stories that a wedding photographer can tell, most of them are funny ... after, long time after, this is why bride, groom and mom got some nicknames among photograhers, usually finishing by "zilla" like bridezilla, groomzilla and momzilla and we wonder why.
Below a phantasmagorical story about, let's say about bridezilla for today.
- Hello Groom, did you check with the bride the location for the pre-session wedding's photography ?
- My fiance did, i will let you speak with her.
- Hi Photographer,
- Hello Bride, did you check the location for the pre-session wedding pictures ?
-Yes, yesterday i went where you told me "it's a very nice place to do pictures", but i didn't find it nice at all. I don't like the colors of the
flowers, the grass there will dirt my gown, i don't like the skyline view, there is no toilette around, my mom(zilla) told me she's allergic to the pollen of those flowers and
the entrance fees are very expensive.
I think the problem it's not because of the flowers nor the eventual pollen but it's the huge sea-urchin that she have in her bag and pockets. She put a considerable amount of US dollars in her dress, catering, limo-etc... but she do not have 1 dollar for the entrance fee in a stunning place to do beautiful pictures.
But let's continue the fun.
- OK, that's fine, do you like to choose a place on your own ? (no need to propose another location she will not like it!)
- Yes, i was thinking about Monte-cristo place, i love this place.
- OK, as you wish, but i never heard about this place, can you tell me where is it ? like that i can go and see the location to prepare myself for the session.
- yes sure, it's very easy to find, from your office you take the road to go to Art-Shoes store, then ...
- Bride ?! which Art-Shoes store you are speaking about ? there is many stores in town...
- The one near the Grandmall.
- Which Grandmall ??
- Home Grandmall.
- OK i know Home Grandmall.
- then you continue for 5 minutes and you turn left, you continue for 3 minutes and when you see the Bag n'Bags store you turn to the right ...
- Bride ... is it Bags n' Bag on Stetton Street ?
- Ummm ... it's the one near the 24/7 Flowers shop.
- Sorry, i don't know 24/7 Flowers ...
- Are you kidding me !?! - 24/7 Flowers is very well known for their orchids ! (her is voice raising up)
- Bride, sorry about that, but i don't see where is it, can you tell me more?
- Pffff .... over side of the street there is a beauty salon called Woman's beauty !
- Oh OK, this oooone (when bridezilla start to show up, better to let her finish, even if you do not understand, continue to write her indications ... we never know ...)
- Yes this one Pfff ... So after 10mn you will see that the road have a little hole in the middle, it's where you will turn to the right again and after around 10mn you will arrive at a cross road where there is a field with some cows on your right, then you turn left and the entrance gate is on your right after 2mn driving.
- Thank you very much Bride, can i speak to Groom ?
- HONEYYY .... the photographer want to speak to you !
....
- Yes Photographer ...
- Hi Groom, can you tell me where is the Monte-cristo's Place ? Bride would like to do the photography session there, but i don't know the place.
- Oh, okey, Do you know where is Alona Palace ?
- No
- Barton's Square ?
- Yes, i do.
- Ok from Barton's Square you take Barton Ave to Milisa Road, when you arrive at Milisa Road you turn left and you continue until you arrive at Orange Square, at Orange Square you turn on your right to follow the direction of Orange county Club for around 10 kilometers, when you did the 10kilometers, you continue a bit for few hundreds meters looking on your right side to see a big yellow panel with written on it Monte-cristo Place, you're almost there, just follow the arrows on those yellow panels.
- Thank you very much Groom.
- You're welcome ... wait a minute Bride want to speak to you.
- (Bride speaking) Photographer why you ask also Groom how to get there ? i gave you the best way to go ... bla bla bla ... why
you ... bla bla bla ....
At this point they often start some "little" rants, better to say nothing and hang as soon as possible.
Remember ? i wrote every single words the bride told me to indicate the direction?
This day i had plenty of time, so i did an experiment.
I followed first the indications of the bride.....
You know what ? i get lost two times with her indications!
First at all she spoke in minutes ... i can guarantee you that we do not have the same value of the minutes!
I do not know what she is doing when she use this way, perhaps she stop every 2 minutes to do some shopping when she go by this road, because it look like she have strictly no idea how this way can be busy ...
So after i knew the road, it took me around 45 minutes to go to the place "she love" following her way !
Also her references are ... Shops ! And the worst they are all shops for women and not some very well known shops, in fact those shops, was very little shops, not big enough to be a serious landmark.
Seriously ? Do i know every single shop in this town ? No ways !
With the indication of the groom, which was a totally different way, straight forward explanations, with street's names, it took me only ... around 20 minutes ! and i found the place immediately!
To follow ... (with groomzilla or momzilla)
*All characters appearing in this fictitious story are absolutely fictitious. I just wake up
this morning with this nightmare in mind, So any resemblance to real persons, living, dead, undead, ghost or in your dreams is purely coincidental or can be considered as a true miracle,
Alleluia!
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